Astral Slut

Allie in October on way to work: “What am I, like, in the otherworlds?”

Samael: (Ghostly voice echoes on autumn winds) “A heirodule.”

Allie: “WTF is that.”

Samael: (Pete Steele laughter) “Google is your best friend.”

Allie: (enters office, looks it up) “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS CALL ME A SACRED WHORE.”

~Months Later~

Allie: “What is my sacred name?  Like, is it Big Al?  Alliekat?  Grand Poobah of the Otherworlds?”

Michael: “Qadesh.”

Allie: “Why do you always speak Hebrew at me.”

Michael: (Chuckles while probably drinking a dumb beer) “The great thing about the modern age is that there is Wikipedia.”

Wikipedia: “Hebrew for Temple Prostitute”

Allie: “I’m being dragged in Hebrew and Greek by the biggest assholes of Heaven and Hell.”

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