Dream Diary: The Demon Pikachu

(I’m dressed in this horrendous striped magenta and yellow ruffled dress with pink bows all over it.  Samael made it appear on me and is fawning over me and pinching my cheeks.  I am highly flustered and can’t believe I’m wearing this monstrosity.)

Me: “This dress looks like fairy vomit.  Why do you always dress me up in dumb things.”

Samael: (Gives me a sleazy grin, clearly drunk – I can see his fangs – and tweaks my nose while sloshing his glass of red wine.) “You know your favorite Pokemon in Alpha and Sapphire?  That’s why.”

Me: “How the hell do you know what Pokemon are?”

Samael: “Allie you’ve been playing it since you were five and named your fucking rival after me.  Spirits watch their humans even when they’re doing mundane things.  Anyways, what is your favorite Pokemon in the third generation?”

Me: “Cosplay Pikachu?”

Samael: “Exactly!  You raise Pokemon for their cuteness, not strength.  That’s why you raised a Skitty to level 50.”

Me: “Sam do you really have nothing better to do than watch me play Pokemon for hours on end.”

Samael: “I can be everywhere I want, I’m Death.  Anyhow, I admire how you treat your virtual pets with love, especially your favorite Pokemon – Pikachu.”

Me: “But Pikachu isn’t just cute, she’s powerful!”

Samael: (pulls one of my atrocious bows and continues to smell like a bar) “Just like you.  To me, you’re like a Pikachu – electric, full of energy, cute as a button.  That’s why I dress you up in so many adorable outfits.  I like to accessorize my humans and accentuate their softness.  It proves a striking contrast to me.”

Me: “Sam, you are really lame.  You dress like Alucard half the time.”

(Sam spins me around in the Hideous Evil Dress, laughing.)

Samael: “Are you going to electrocute me, Pikachu?”

Me: “SHUT UP YOU LOSER.  TAKE ME OUT OF THIS HIDEOUS DRESS WITH YOUR MAGIC EVIL OVERLORD POWERS.”

(Samael catches me in his arms after the princess turn, a move I learned in ballroom dance.)

Samael: “Nope.  You’re stuck.  Hahaha.  You mock me in your stories.  Now you’re my joke, Pikachu.”

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